We are all subject to the laws of physics no matter how we look, what we say, whom we are with, or even what we believe. For example, if you drive a car seventy miles-per-hour around a fifteen-mile-per hour curve, you are going to get hurt－even if you feel lucky that day. Why? Because the law of physics still apply to you－they apply to everyone.
Just as there are laws of physics that affect everyone regardless of who they are or what they believe, there are also laws of marriage physics. Sadly, people keep breaking all the laws and then are stunned by the fact that their marriage stinks. "Why is my marriage so bad?" they ponder. Then the unwise voice of modern convention screams in their minds, Wake up and be honest with your feelings. If things are bad, you married the wrong person. It not supposed to be this hard. You‘ve made a mistake. God doesn‘t want you to feel unloved. Be courageous and bail.
And bail they do－by the millions.
But the problem isn‘t that people marry the wrong person; it‘s that people act in ways that are wrong－ways that destroy. if your marriage stinks, someone is breaking the rules of marriage physics. Unfortunately, most are unaware that rules even exist, much less know what they are.
Even though I don‘t think there is such a thing as a soul mate, I‘m not saying the dating process shouldn‘t involve a hunt to find a special someone－someone compatible with you, someone with whom you have made a connection. If you are single, I think you should expect that, even strive to find a person with whom you can share feelings of deep affinity, friendship, sexual attraction, and compatibility. That being said, I think finding someone to journey with in marriage is mostly about two people committing to each other and then employing principles such as love, acceptance, patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, and unselfishness, to enrich that committed relationship. Marriage is more about work than about divine luck , more about finding someone to love than about finding someone to meet your own laundry list of personal needs.
不管我们怎么看，说什么，和谁在一起，或者相信什么，我们都要服从物理规律。例如，你以七十英里每小时的速度开车绕着只能十五英里每小时的曲线行驶，你就会受伤——尽管那天你很幸运。为什么？因为物理规律应用在了你身上——他们运用在了所有人身上。
正如物理规律会在所有人身上起作用，不管他们是谁或者相信什么，世界上也存在着婚姻物理学。悲哀的是，人们一直在打破规律，然后对他恩的婚姻破败这个事实大吃一惊。“为什么我的婚姻这么糟糕？”他们很疑惑。清醒过来，诚实地面对自己的感觉吧。如果事情变得糟糕，你是和错误的人结婚了。他不改这么困难。你犯错了。上帝不想让你感到没有被爱。变得勇敢一点，脱离这个困境。
成千上万的人都做到了。
但是问题不在于人们和错误的人结婚了；而在于人们做事的方式错误——这个方式毁了婚姻。如果你的婚姻很糟糕，就说明有人在打破婚姻物理学的规律。不幸的是，大多数人没有意识到这些规律的存在，甚少知之。
尽管我认为没有灵魂伴侣这类东西，但我并不是说约会的过程不应该暴扣照这样一个特别的人——一个能和你共处的人，一个和你有羁绊的人。如果你单身，我认为你可以这样期望，你努力找一个可以分享在密切关系，友情，性吸引以及和睦相处中的感觉的人。这就是说，我认为找一个人一起度过婚姻这趟旅程至多就是关于两个人向对方承诺然后用像爱，接受，耐心，原谅，牺牲以及无私等原则来使这段已经有过承诺的关系更加丰富。婚姻跟多的是去做而不是天赐的幸运，跟多的是去爱而不是找一个人来完成你的相识洗衣清单之类的个人需要。