Successful leaders keep their promises. They take their responsibilities to others seriously , and, when necessary, they put aside their own needs for the good of the organizations.  As Simon Sinek put it in his bestselling book, Leaders Eat Last " leaders are the ones willing to give up something of their own for us---their time, their energy, their money, maybe even the food of their plate...Unless someone is willing to sacrifices for the good of others to earn their place in the hierarch, they aren‘t really ‘alpha material.‘"

In my firm‘s work with and analysis of more than 1,000 senior executives around the world, we‘ve found that this description is half right. Of course leaders sacrifice aspects of their lives at times, that‘s the price of admission in today‘s competitive work environment. But those who subjugate their own personal needs for healthful diet and exercise, sleep and recreation, personal connections, professional development, culture enrichment, and community engagement over five, ten or 20 years eventually succumb to a phenomenon we refer to as brownout ---the graduated loss of energy, focus, and passion, which ultimately diminished their success.

In contrast to burnout, where someone is obviously unable to function successfully, brownout is often imperceptible to outsiders---yet our observations indicate that it affects a much larger percentage of the executive population. Let me give you an example. During my first private conversation with "Steven," the CEO of a top  mid-sized law firm, he surprised me with a confession:" Mike, " he said, " I have to share something with you that I really can‘t tell anyone else.I‘m 39 years old and I‘m running a successful firm. My client work is stimulating and challenging. I make close to a million dollars a year, and I have a wonderful wife and a five-year-old son. But i haven‘t slept four hours a night in over three weeks. it‘s been ten days since I last saw my son awake. I‘m completely overwhelmed by work. We‘re meeting in this conference room because my office is piled floor to ceiling with files. There is really important stuff that I know I‘m not dealing with because of how fast new things comes in. Sometimes it gets so bad that I find myself actually hoping I‘ll have a heart attack. At least it would be an honorable way out."

Steven is an extremely example, of course. But his story illustrates the profound stress facing leaders who focus too heavily on their responsibilities to others. After a time, the selfless behavior that made them successful in their early careers ends up impairing their long-term productivity, effectiveness, and well-being. They can find themselves becoming the highly promoted senior executives that no young professionals want to emulate.

In our work, we‘ve found that today‘s superstar leaders supplement their commitment to focusing on others with another, equally important skill: keeping promises to themselves. What are some examples of promises you might make?

* To take care of yourself physically: exercise regularly, eat right, get enough sleep, and visit the doctor.

* To pursue activities that will help to differentiate your skill set from others.

* To spent time with your family and close friends.

* To manage your personal finances with care and attention, and with long-term objectivities in mind.

* To spend time reflecting on what is most important to you in life and live and work according to your deepest values.

* To participate in a community outside work that truly matters to you.

The idea is to commit to activities that will make you feel better, increase your spirit. This isn;t self-indulgence. When you make and keep promises to yourself, which benefits not only you but also everyone around you and your organization. You also become a true role model for those following you up to the ranks.

Nice idea, you may say, but what about all my responsibilities, my crazy boss, my needy team and customers? Clients will, of course, have to adjust when they realize you no longer available to take phone calls at every hour of the day or night. Colleagues will need to rest their expectations when they learn that you‘re no longer willing to take more projects or serve on yet another committee. But  we hear from executives who have tried this respect and honor their new way of living and working, since it so clearly improves their performance.

Inertia, procrastination, the power of habit, and the fear of others‘ judgements can also make it difficult to make and keep promises to yourself. Clinical workaholics might find it impossible without professional psychological support. But we advise people to start by making one small but exceptionally meaningful promise to themselves---and to stick to it with 100% integrity. For example, if you decide that more time with family is most important to you, you might commit to eating dinner together at home three times a week for the next two weeks. And, if you successfully keep that promise, it should give you the confidence to try another: you might commit to walk for a half-hour every weekday, or to sharpen your presentation skills by tackling a public speaking course.

Everyone knows the customer service principle "under promise and over deliver." Treat promise to yourself in the same way. Be realistic about what you can achieve and develop a plan for carrying it out.

    成功的领导谨守对自己的承诺。他们认真对待给他人的承诺，必要的时候，会为了组织的利益而放弃自己的需要，正如西蒙希耐克在他的畅销书《领导最后吃》中说：“领导是那些愿意为了我们牺牲自己的人，牺牲自己的时间、经理、金钱，还可能包括盘子里的食物......除非有人愿意为了他人利益做出牺牲来赢得权力地位，否则他们不可能成为真正的“首领”。

    通过分析全世界超过1000名高管，我们发现这个说法只有一半是“真”的，当然领导们不时要牺牲自己的合适呢干活，这是今日这种激烈竞争的工作环境的代价，但是那些牺牲了自己的健康饮食、锻炼、睡眠、创意、人际联系、职业发展、文化生活和社区参与5年、10年获20年的人最终导致一种我们称之为“暗淡化”的现象－缺少精力、激情，无法专注，这最终会使他们的成功黯然失色。

与“精疲力竭”－人们明显无法正常地发挥作用－不同，“暗淡化”对外人来说并不明显－但我们的观察显示它的确影响了相当比例的高管们。给你个例子，我第一次跟一家顶级中等规模的法律事务所的CEO“史蒂文”进行私下谈话的时候，他想我坦白了一件事，让我感觉很惊讶，他说：“迈克，我必须跟你说一件没法跟其他人说的事，我39岁了，经营着一家成功的公司，我的工作很刺激，有挑战，我每年挣差不多100万美元，有一个很棒的妻子和一个五岁的儿子，但是三周多了，我每天睡觉还不到4小时，有10天没在儿子醒着的时候见到他，完全被工作占据了，我们之所以在会议室会面时因为我的办公室文件已经从地板堆到了天花板，我知道还有很重要的事没处理，因为新事物出现得太快了，有时候情况太糟糕了，我甚至希望自己心脏病发作，至少能体面地退出了。”

当然史蒂文时个极端的例子，但是他的故事反映了领导们因为过于看重对他人的责任而面临的极深极大的压力问题，过不了多久，使他们早期职业生涯获得成功的“无私”这一品质，从长远来看会损害他们的工作效能和幸福，他们发现自己成了年轻人不想效仿的高管。

我们的工作也发现，今日的明星领导发展出另一种跟“坚守对他人的承诺”同样重要的技巧，谨守对自己的承诺。你可能对自己做哪些承诺呢？以下是一些例子。

＊保持身体健康：定期锻炼、健康饮食、睡眠充足，必要时去看医生；

＊学习一些有别于他人的技巧；

＊跟家人和好友在一起；

＊谨慎地管理好个人财务，有长期目标；

＊花时间确定什么对你是最重要的，按照自己的价值观生活和工作；

＊参与自己觉得有意义的社区户外活动；

    主要意思就是承诺参与一些能然你感觉良好，振奋精神的活动，这不是自我放纵，当你能坚守对自己的承诺，得益的人不只是自己，还有身边的人和服务的组织，你也会成为那些想要效仿你发展自己职业生涯的人的真实的榜样。

    你可能会说，“好主意，但是我的责任怎么办？抓狂的老板，追着我的同事和客户怎么办？”当然客户必须得做些调整，当他们意识到你不再每天24小时接电话的时候，而同事们如果明白你不愿再参与更多的项目，做新的承诺的时候，他们也需要降低自己的期望值，但是我们从采取这一做法的高管们那儿得到的反馈是，人们尊重他们新的生活和工作方式，因为这明显提高了他们的表现。

    惰性、拖延、习惯的力量，对他人看法的担心会制造困难，让你不容易坚持“对自己的承诺”，工作狂们可能发现如果没有专业心理学家的支持完全没办法这么做，但我们建议人们从一个很小但很有意义的对自己的承诺开始，并付出100%的努力坚持，比如如果你觉得最重要的是家庭，那么可以承诺下两周每周在家吃三顿晚饭，如果你成功坚守了对自己的承诺，就会有信心开始另一个：可能你想在工作日每天散步半小时，或者参加一个公共课程，提高做演示的技巧。

    有一个众所周知的顾客服务原则，“少做承诺，但高标准践行。”用这个办法来对待自己，对自己能做到什么要现实一点，定个计划然后执行。