The following events occurred between ☹ and ☺.

“How could she do something like this to me?” said a voice in my head. All the time. Every day.

Back in 2011, when everything had gradients, iOS icons made sense, and people used deodorants, I was stuck in middle of a pretty bad depression due to my divorce.

Thankfully, I think I was smart enough (and had great people around me) so I found ways to stay afloat.

One day I walk into the office, and my day begins at my computer screen. It was all great, until I saw this message:

Your password has expired.

Click ‘Change password’ to change your password.

No shit. I thought clicking ‘Change password’ was gonna do something else.

I read this dumb message in my mind with angry grandpa voice: The damn password has expired.

At my workplace, the Microsoft Exchange server is configured to ask thousands of employees around the planet to change their passwords. Every 30 days.

Here is the horse-shit: The server forces us to use at least one UPPERCASE character, at least one lowercase alphabetic character, at least one symbol and at least one number. Oh, and the whole damn thing can’t be less than 8 characters. And I can’t use any of the same passwords I’ve used in the last 3 months.

I was furious that morning. Tuesday, 9:40 a.m. -It was so hot that my torso was already sweaty even though I just got to work. I was late. I was still wearing my helmet. I think I forgot breakfast. Something tastes like cigarette in my mouth. I need to get shit done before my 10 a.m. meeting and all I have in front of me is a huge waste of my time.

So there it was… This input field with a pulsating cursor, waiting for me to type a password that I’ll have to re-enter for the next 30 days. Many times during the day.

Then, letting all the frustration go, I remembered a tip I heard from my former boss, Rasmus. Somehow he combined to-do lists with passwords, and I thought to use an augmented variation of that.

I’m gonna use a password to change my life.

It was obvious that I couldn’t focus on getting things done with my current lifestyle and mood. Of course, there were clear indicators of what I needed to do -or what I had to achieve- in order to regain control of my life, but we often don’t pay attention to these clues.

My password became the indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldn’t let myself be victim of my recent break up, and that I’m strong enough to do something about it.

My password became: “Forgive@h3r”

During my meeting I kept thinking on what I just did. Something drew a smirk on my face.

During the rest of week, I had to type this password several times a day. Each time my computer would lock. Each time my screensaver with her photo would appear. Each time I would come back from eating lunch alone.

In my mind, I went with the mantra that I didn’t type a password. In my mind, I was reminding myself to “Forgive her”.

That simple action changed the way I looked at my ex wife. That constant reminder that I should forgive her, led me to accept the way things happened at the end of my marriage, and embrace a new way of dealing with the depression that I was drowning into.

In the following days, my mood improved drastically. By the end of the 2nd week, I noticed that this password became less powerful, and it started to lose its effect. A quick refresh of this ‘mantra’ helped me. I thought to myself I forgive her as I typed it, every time. The healing effect of it came back almost immediately.

One month later, my dear exchange server asked me again to renew my password. I thought about the next thing I had to get done.

My password became Quit@smoking4ever

And guess what happened. I shit you not. I quit smoking overnight. I have a ton of witnesses who could not believe how I did it. I had tried books, e-cigarettes, patches, etc. Nothing worked, but this one trick did.

This password was a painful one to type during that month, but doing it helped me to yell at myself in my mind, as I typed that statement. It motivated me to follow my monthly goal.

One month later, my password became Save4trip@thailand

Guess where I went 3 months later. Thailand.

With savings.

Thank you, password.

Seeing how these reminders helped to materialize my goals kept me motivated and excited. I’ll admit this: It is difficult to come up with your next goal. Sometimes it’s hard to identify what we need to change, or where we need to walk towards to.

Make sure your goals are realistic, and avoid being too dreamy when you phrase them. It’s important to build a metric around your goal so you can measure its success along the way. For example, if you’re on a hunt to get a better job, don’t use things like BeTh3NumberOne! but instead go with KickASS@LinkedIn! and use the new connections, groups and number of resumes sent as a metric to validate your efforts to land a new job. Being the number one is great, but being able to measure where you are and where you’re going is important, specially when there’s a big gap between those two points.

So why does this trick work? In its simplest form, a password enables you to get somewhere, in your digital world. Say, to copy a file, to unlock a computer, to email somebody. This feeling of micro achievements, this thought of ‘my mantra helps me to get things done’ can build up a momentum that motivates you to stay focused on achieving your monthly goals. It’s a tiny habit that has the power to transform.

It worked with me. I’m sure it will work with you.

This is how I learned that I can truly change my life, if I play it right. I kept doing this repeatedly month after month, with great results.

Here is a simplified extract of what some of my passwords have been in the last 2 years, so you get an idea of how my life has changed, thanks to this method:

Forgive@her ← to my ex-wife, who started it all.

Quit@smoking4ever ← it worked.

Save4trip@thailand ← it worked.

Eat2times@day ← it never worked, still fat.

Sleep@before12 ← it worked.

Ask@her4date ← it worked. I fell in love again.

No@drinking2months ← it worked. It felt great!

MovE@togeth3r ← it worked.

Get@c4t! ← it worked. We have a beautiful cat.

Facetime2mom@sunday ← it worked. I talk with my mom every week.

And the one for last month:

Save4@ring ← Yep. Life is gonna change again, soon.

I still await very anxiously each month so I can change my password into a phrase that motivates me to focus on something that I need to get done.

This method has consistently worked for me for the last 2 years, and I have shared it with a few close friends and relatives. I didn’t think it was a breakthrough in tiny-habits but it did have a great impact in my life, so I thought to share it with you all.

Give it a try! Write these statements with the right mindset and attitude, and you’ll change your life. Let me know how it works for you!

Remember, for added security, try to be more complex with the words. Add symbols or numbers, make it longer, and scramble a bit the beginning or the ending of your password string. S4f3ty_f1rst!

Pass the tip to those who might need it.

Updated on Jun 21, 2014: She said yes.

 在我悲喜两重天的时候发生的下面的故事。

每天，每时每刻，我脑海中都会响起这样一个声音，“她怎能如此对我？”

时间回转到2011年， 那一年所有的事情都发生了变化，ISO 的图标开始被人认可, 人们开始用除臭剂， 而我则因为婚姻的失败 陷入了深深的抑郁中。

谢天谢地的是， 我的聪明才智外加周围人的帮助，我找到了让生活继续下去的方法。

一天， 我走进办公室， 坐在电脑面前开始一天的工作。一切看起来都如此美好， 直到我看到下面的通知：

您的密码已过期。

请点击“修改密码”按键来修改您的密码。

屁话。我把修改密码当成干别的事。

我一边读着这条该死的通知，一边在心里咒骂他的祖宗八代：“这该死的密码居然过期了”

在我们公司， 微软服务器被允许可以每30天要求这里所有的员工进行修改密码。

他妈的：微软服务器要求的密码必须由最少一个大写字母，最少一个小写字母，最少一个符号，最少一个数字组成。第一个字母还得先大写。而且整个密码还不得少于该死的8位。同时3个月内还不能重复同一个密码。

在那个周二早上 09:40： 我处于暴怒状态。 天很热，而我刚上班就已经是大汗淋漓的,要命的是我还迟到了，头上还戴着头盔，没吃早饭， 嘴里还有股烟味。而我还得再早上十点会议前把所有无关紧要的事情处理完。

然后就到了.....输入框中，光标不停闪烁，等待输入密码，而同样的密码一天输入很多次， 连续输入一个月。

突然，我想起我上任老板 拉斯马斯的一则旧智，他却将要做的事情编成密码，而我考虑也用这个方式， 只不过是用它的变体加强版而已。那一刻我所有的郁闷都烟消云散了。

我打算用密码来改变我的生活。

很明显，我现在的生活方式和心态并不能让我把生活过好。当然生活中还是有很多清晰的指引，告诉我们该做些什么， 或是达到什么目标来重新掌控自己的生活，但是通常情况下我们都忽视了这些线索。

密码就这样成为我的指引，它总是让我不再因为最近失败的婚姻而把自己当成失败者，让我有足够的勇气继续生活。

我的密码是：“宽恕她”

在整个会议期间我都在想我刚才的所作所为。脸上露出傻笑。

接下来的一周， 每当我的电脑锁机时，每当屏保上出现她的照片时， 每当我一个人吃完午饭回来后，我都会输入这个密码。每天我都得无数次的输入这个密码。

在我心里，我不是在输入密码， 而是在不停的告诉自己原谅她。有点像不停的念咒语。

这样一个简单的动作改变了我对我前妻的看法。我不停的暗示我应该原谅她后，我能够接受我的婚姻已经是这样了，并接受换种方式来调整我曾深陷其中的抑郁状态。

之后，我的心态发生很大的变化。两个周后， 我意识到这个密码没有原来那么强大，它不再影响我。在迅速更新后的咒语后，这种改善心态的效果几乎是立竿见影。每次我输入密码，我都觉得自己如所写的密码那样原谅她了。

一个月后， 我亲爱的服务器要求我再次更新密码。我想到了下一件要干的事。

我的密码变成了： 戒烟永远。

你能猜到发生了什么吗？我打赌你猜不到。 我一夜之间戒烟了。我有无数证人， 虽然他们都不相信我是如何做到的。之前我试过读书， 抽电子烟，贴片等戒烟辅助工具。那些都不能让我戒烟成功，但是密码咒语竟然做到了。

那一个月，输入这样的密码让我痛苦不堪，但是这样做就像是我在心里朝自己呐喊我的宣言 永远戒烟。密码鼓励我遵从我每个月的目标。

一个月后，我的密码变成 省钱旅游@泰国

猜猜看3个月后我去了哪？ 泰国。

用剩下来的钱做到的。

谢谢你，密码。

看到这些提示语是如何帮我实现我的目标，让我保持积极性和兴奋。我承认很难找到下一个目标。有时候 我们就是不知道我们需要改变什么，或者路在何方。

当写密码时，要确定你的目标的可实践性，词语避免太虚幻。很重要的一点是要设计目标衡量标准， 这样你可以了解达到成功的第几步。例如，你正在找工作，目标不是成为第一名，而是强大的人际网。并通过新的关系，群，发送简历作为衡量努力找到新工作的标准。成为第一名是很不错的， 但是能知道自己走到哪一步，接下来怎么走是很重要的，尤其是这两点中间存在巨大差距的时候。

那为什么这么做有效果？答案是用最简单的方法，却能使自己有所收获。在数字世界中，输入密码能使你复印一份文件， 或是解锁电脑，或者是发送邮件。这些小小的成功让人觉得的咒语可以实现自己的愿望，而这种想法可以刺激人们继续关注自己的目标， 并实现它。这样的一个小习惯却有改变人生的能力。

这个办法对我有效，我觉得也会对你有效。

这就是我是如何正确运用并能真正改变自己生活的方法。在月复月的重复坚持下，我取得了很大的成绩。

如下是近2年来，我所使用的简单却又精准的密码，从而你可以了解我的生活是怎样发生变化的， 非常感谢这种方法：

原谅她← 原谅我的前妻， 她促使这一系列事情的发生.

永远戒烟←我做到了

省钱去泰国玩 ←我做到了

一天2顿饭 ← 我没有做到， 还是很胖.

12点以前睡觉 ← 做到了

跟人约会←做到了，我再次恋爱了

2个月不喝酒 ← 做到了， 感觉很棒！

住在一起 ← 做到了

养只猫! ← 做到了， 现在我们养了一只漂亮的猫咪。

星期天时跟妈妈视频聊天 ←做到了，现在我每周都和妈妈聊天。

还有上个月的一条密码：

省钱买戒指 ←是的，生活很快将再次发生变化。

我一直这样紧张的等待每个月的到来，这是我就可以更改密码，这些密码又激励着我专注于我应该做的事。

近2年来， 这个办法对我来说是一直有效的，我将这个办法和我的一些密友，亲人分享。我认为这样做不仅是一个小习惯的突破，而是对我的生活产生极大的影响，因此我想和所有人一起分享这个办法。

试一试，在正确的思想态度下，写下你的誓言，你的生活就会改变。记得告诉我这个办法是怎么改变你的！

为保险起见，记得把密码设的复杂点。可以这样设计的复杂点：添加字符或是数字， 密码写的长一点，开头或结尾的字母交错开来。

把这个办法分享给可能需要它的人。

2014-1-21更新：她说是的。