Mysterious, hard to fathom, ambiguous, leaving people wondering... each of these traits goes toward making a person seem enigmatic. An enigmatic personality is about being imaginative, replacing the banal with the creative and always surprising people with the depths of your knowledge and charm. Leave people wondering and they‘ll be curious to know a great deal more...
Keep silent** more often than not**. Be prepared to leave some things unsaid and to hold back on sharing your thoughts all of the time. Talk when you know it‘s essential but don‘t speak every chance you get. Not everything needs to be commented on--saying things just for the sake of being seen to be "participating" or "one of the crowd" is often simply "noise". Most importantly, your existence doesn‘t depend on senseless chatter; forming a powerful impression is often about how you carry yourself, how you restrain yourself from idle commentary and how you interject intelligently when it really is a purposeful and meaningful thing to do.
Don‘t be so keen to fill in the gaps. Pauses in conversation have a power all of their own; they can allow for reflection, they can permit the speaker to regain composure and they can also leave plenty of time for the listener‘s imagination to conjure up whatever it will. Sometimes it‘s not so much what you say as what you do not say. * When someone says the metaphorical "jump!", don‘t be so ready to ask "how high?" Take your time to respond to demands and requests from other people. Ask yourself--and them--questions about their motives. Tell people you would like to think about it and that you‘ll get back to them.
Be cautious about how much information about yourself you share. In a world where we‘re constantly told that we have to speak up or risk never been noticed, too much talking and giving away all of your intent, dreams and desires can result in information overload and stereotyping. With nothing left to share, the mystery has gone and it can sometimes be hard to change people‘s perceptions of you because they‘ve heard too much about who you think you are now. Don‘t box yourself in--be judicious with what you tell acquaintances and strangers about yourself; be more generous with those closer to you.
Be creative in your conversations with other people. Small talk by nature tends to be very banal and tedious. It‘s about the weather, work hassles, childcare, traffic snarls, more weather, the cost of living, etc. Ultimately, small talk is not the domain of an enigmatic person. Be prepared to tackle the slip into banality through creative responses: * Whenever the conversation descends into the same old worn-out topics, comment on how extraordinary you find it that people resort to such typical topics when they have a chance to come together. Then, change the topic to something far more meaty and enticing; the more complicated and fascinating, the better for your enigmatic status.
Expand your vocabulary. Spend time every day learning a few new words and practicing them in your usual conversations. The broader your vocabulary, the more fascinating you will sound to others and the more enigmatic you will seem when they‘re forced to check their dictionary to truly grasp what you‘re on about. * Work your brain. Let out your clever side by feeding your mind with good information and mental exercise. Do obscure riddles. Put together puzzle rings. Do word and number puzzles. Read books of obscure facts. Push yourself to learn something you thought you couldn‘t, like physics, cooking or another language. Challenging yourself will keep you engaged in life and thereby interesting to others who will constantly wonder how you manage to be so clued in and aware.
Keep your plans to yourself. Apart from those closest to you, there‘s no need to broadcast your whereabouts all the time. Never mention where you‘re going. If someone asks, reply in kind, such as "same place as you eventually" or "now that‘s a good question, I just wish I had the answer", and so forth. * If you plan to move away, take an item and give them to someone you care about. Tell them it‘s something to hold. This is the sort of behavior others always find mysterious.
Make people work hard to get close to you. While you may have an abundance of trust, an enigmatic person also exercises a great deal of discretion in whom they place that trust. Those whom you call your nearest and dearest must earn that place by demonstrating their trust in you and not doing anything to undermine your trust in them. Equally, realize that you must also earn people‘s respect; it‘s something that can‘t be bought or forced. * Developing closeness with trust is a two-way street--you need to learn when it‘s okay to let people close enough to you. Even enigmatic people have people in their lives that they can totally rely on; it‘s about going for quality rather than quantity.
Be stoic. Stoics control their emotions and passions so that the front they present to the world appears composed, calm and unruffled. This isn‘t to say that you lack passion or emotion; rather, you choose not to debase yourself by acting in ways that appear overly emotional, reactive or ridiculously excited. Instead, choose to take life as it comes, react calmly to all sorts of news that comes your way and have a "well, after I‘ve looked into it, I‘ll make up my mind" approach to everything. Overreacting, behaving childishly, jumping with excitement or collapsing with worry are not something you do; enigmatic people do not give much away, ever. * Steer clear of emotions and keep non-judgmental.
Live in the present. The past has passed and you don‘t buy into nostalgia or weeping for the victim you once were. In fact, enigmatic people never see themselves as victims; things happen, you learn, then you move on. In particular, avoid being drawn into conversations about the past with others; whenever your colleagues, friends, teammates or whoever seem to be getting bogged down waxing about the "good old days" as if today doesn‘t matter, set them straight. Change the subject and return them to the here and now. * Never discuss former flames, loves, notches on your belt, conquests, whoever. If there is pain from a breakup or loss, speak to someone confidentially, such as a therapist or a trusted best friend to help you move on but never divulge such information any more widely. Your past is not fodder for today‘s banal bar chats.
Be kind and be reassuring. Enigmatic people may seem mysterious but they‘re not mean spirited or thoughtless. Indeed, your strong presence is often found to be reassuring because people know that you don‘t gossip, breach trust or hang others out to dry. You are trusted and people are likely to bring their confidences and concerns to you. When this happens: * Be kind. Compassion is both a way to support others and to maintain your enigmatic presence; in comforting others, the focus is always shifted away from you, leaving people in awe at the boundless consideration you have for fellow human beings.
Be fair minded and willing to break the rules where the rules are stupid. Stupid rules are made to be broken when they don‘t serve their purpose; everywhere in life there are self-imposed rules, workplace rules, school and college rules and many other rules. While many rules are handy and important for the good functioning of our lives, many other rules are past their use-by date or make another‘s life easier at the expense of someone else. Rules breakers are independent thinkers who start movements, sway crowds and create better futures because they see outside the box and are not afraid to challenge what deserves to be changed. * Know the difference between a stupid rule and a valid rule. A stupid rule might be one that stops some people from achieving their full potential but allows more privileged people to get what they want; or, it might be one that favors conformity over innovation and creativity; or one that tells people to work harder and faster when to do so is harming them. A valid rule might be one that ensures that people don‘t harm themselves or others or one that ensures that everyone‘s opinions have been taken into account. Determining the stupidity or validity of a rule will depend on the context and your understanding of how things work in the given situation. Also, be sure to fully understand the consequences of not going along with the rules; typical responses include social ostracism, getting fired and losing out on things you wanted. Make sure that you can handle the consequences, or be so subtle nobody knows about your involvement or how the changes happened!
Pursue unusual interests and hobbies. Let out your inner weirdness by following an interest or hobby that is out of the ordinary and definitely something that arouses curiosity in others. Collect strange things, go on treks to places few visit, take photographs of street grates, disappear in the back shed for hours on end "doing something mysterious", attend conventions about outer space aliens, and so forth. Whatever you choose to do, don‘t follow the pack; even if you pursue a fairly conventional hobby or interest, find an aspect of it that others have neglected or haven‘t yet realized exists and make the most of becoming the foremost expert in it.
Be prepared. Always have the right tool for everything with you. Think ahead to the places you will be for the day and the types of things that might confront you and be sure to have the items on you. For darkness, have a phone with an in-built flashlight. For spills, have a stain wipe to offer the hapless victim. For cuts, pull out a Band-Aid and a little antiseptic cream. For thirst, offer your spare water. Always be prepared so that others are in awe of your effectiveness in any situation. * Enigmatic people are not likely to want to lug around a large bag of equipment. Also know how to make the most of objects around you for safety, emergency and survival purposes. Take a course in first aid; know how to use things in nature for eating, drinking and sheltering; be aware of how to use everyday objects to fix stains, mend rips and put hair back into place. Knowing how to make the most of everything is definitely the sign of an enigmatic person because it draws together self-assurance, deep knowledge, capability, ability to stay calm and composed under pressure and a willingness to give new things a try.
Stay relaxed. Above all, enigmatic people are not fussed about what others think of them. Nor do they try to hard to cultivate charm--charm is a by-product of being calm, thoughtful, considerate and ready to challenge the status quo. Charm is not something that can be plucked off a shelf and worn (although enigmatic people should always take care to present themselves well through good grooming and neat clothes). By staying relaxed and at ease about yourself and the situations you find yourself in, you will always manage to exude both enigma and charm.
Tips
修炼深沉的气质
高深莫测，难以捉摸，来去无踪，耐人寻味……这每一种气质都造就了人的深刻涵养。深沉的气质总是与想象力相关，从超尘拔俗，总是以渊博的学识与深深的魅力引人惊叹。引人浮想联翩，并急切想追问下去。
1 保持沉默而不是夸夸其谈。是话说三分，剩下的欲言又止，时刻彰显出你的哲思。胸有成竹时再开口，但不要逮住说话的机会就不放。不需要对任何事都发表意见——如果你发言只是爲了让别人觉得你参与了谈话，或是把你当做群体中的一员，那只会显得“聒噪”而已。最重要的是，你的存在感并不依赖于放些没味的屁；留下深刻的印象靠的是你如何把持你自己，如何管住自己的碎嘴，以及在恰当的时机睿智地开口。
2 冷场时别急不可耐地开口。谈话中的留白有着强大的力量；它为反思留下了时间；它能使谈话者平复情绪，并给听者的想象留下足够的时间，在脑中预想接下来的内容。有时，不说比说表达的更多。
当有人象征性地说了“跳”，别脱口而出“多高”？不要急着答应别人的命令或要求。问问自己——还有他们——动机是什麽。告诉他们你会考虑一下再答覆他们。
如果别人要要你尽快答覆，问问你自己“干嘛这么急？”然后礼貌但坚决地告诉他们你会及时地答覆他。给自己足够的时间权衡利弊，作出明智的决定。这是以退为进的艺术，会让你更显涵养，魅力过人。
3 谨慎分享个人信息。总的来说不停被谈论的人，总是要不断解释，而你的解释还有被忽略的风险，过多的言语，过多暴露你的意图，梦想和欲望会导致信息过载和他人的成见。当你成爲了透明人，神秘感就了然无踪了，而且有时还很难改变他人对你的印象，因为他们已经听腻了你现在觉得自己是什么样。别把作茧自缚——谨慎考虑告诉熟人和陌生人什么样的个人信息；对亲近之人大可坦诚一些.
4 在于他人交谈时，发挥创造力。随意的闲聊总是非常庸俗乏味。有关天气，工作的问题，照顾孩子，堵车，又是天气，生活开销，林林总总。总的来说，有涵养的人不涉足闲聊的领域。准备好用新意的回答防止谈话流于庸俗：
每当谈话陷入陈芝麻烂谷子的话题时，你可以评论说，你发现人们有机会聚在一起时，总是保留着如此经典的话梗，这真是碉堡了。然后引向更耐人寻味，引人入胜的话题；话题越为深奥，神妙，越能彰显你的内涵气质。
换掉一些老套的说法，在回答引入诗句，歌词或哲言。别用以往的回答应付“你如何了？”这样的问题，别用单调乏味的方式阐述你基本的感觉，比如“我飢渴”。发挥创造力，说出能让别人虎躯一震并将其记住的话。举个腻子，用一种风趣的方式表达你的飢渴“我看到到处都是啤酒的喷泉，召唤着我去搓澡。”
5 扩大词汇量。每天花时间学习些新单词，并在你的日常对话中加之练习。你的词汇量越大。你就显得越有内涵，他们就被迫去翻字典才能真正理解你说的是什麽。
开动你的大脑。通过输入有用的信息和思维联系，释放你大脑中聪慧的一面。做一些高深的谜语。组合九连环。强迫自己学一些你以前觉得自己不会的东西，比如物理，烹饪或外语。自我挑战能保持生活的充实，从而引起他人的兴趣，他们将时常好奇你怎么能如此博学明辨。
6 自己的计划要保密。除了与你最亲近的人之外，没必要整天广播你的行踪。
别说你要去哪儿。如果有人问你，友善地回答他，比如“殊途同归”或是“这是个好问题，我倒希望我有答案”等等。如果你打算动身离家，留一张字条（？）并交给你在乎的某个人，告诉他妥善保存。这样的做法会使别人总觉得你充满神秘感。
把位置，状态更新从你的社交网络上删除掉，比如推特和脸书。在网上，别说你是某个特定国家的公民——网络世界中你无处不在。
7 别那么轻易让别人接近你。你可能很愿意信任他人，然而一位气质深沉的人总是会通过大量的练习，谨慎选择他信任的人。那你被你称作是最亲近，最亲爱的人，必须通过证明他们对你的信任，并从不辜负你的信任才能赢得他在你心目中的地位。同样的，想清楚你也必须努力赢得他人的尊重；这是用钱买的来，或者强迫的来的。
发展相互信任的亲密关系是双方的事——你需要知道什麽时候是让他人亲近你的最佳时机。即使是深沉的人，在生活中也有值得完全依赖的人；这种人宁缺毋滥。
选择与之亲近的人要睁大眼睛。每一个亲近之人都有亲爱的可能，暴露你习惯，好恶，行为，日常生活等，这样自然就会降低你的神秘感，并将你揭露在窥探的眼球下。只有那些尊重你对隐私，谦卑以及宁静生活方式的需要的人，才选择能与之亲近。
远离嘲讽。如果某人表现的与你认识中的大相径庭，并且一举一动像个煞笔或者二逼，比如碎嘴不断，指手画脚，木讷呆滞或瞧不起你，毫不犹豫地和这种人保持距离。除非（如果是真的）这人能改掉他的毛病，不然就别离他太近。
8 禁欲。禁欲主义者节制他们的爱恨情仇，这样让他们向世界展现出沉着冷静，从容不迫的一面。这并不意味着你冷酷无情；你宁愿选择不要因为过于情绪化，过于激动或过度兴奋的行为方式，而让自己掉价。
相反地，你选择淡定地面对生活，从容应对生活中的一切问题，并且以“唔，我已经研究过了，我正在决定”的态度对待任何事。过度的反应，幼稚的行为，鸡冻或崩溃焦虑地直跳脚不是你该做的；深沉的人从来深藏不露。
冷静地处理情绪，别妄下结论。
在神志清醒，深思熟虑时作出反应，而不是在抓狂的时候。
注意你表达痛苦的方式。只要可能，别将其表露在外。不过，也别打肿脸充胖子——如果你正痛苦不堪，生理上或心理上的，去看医生。总之，私下发生的事儿就别让人知道了，而且深沉的人总是生机勃勃，永远健康。（因为这意味着根本没那么痛苦）。
锻炼身体，保持体形，健康饮食。照顾好你的身体和健康状态，这样你就能时刻保持强健的体魄。
9 活在当下。过去的都过去了，而你不必感怀思旧或是为曾经作为受害者而垂泪。实际上，深沉有内涵的人从不将他们自己看作是受害者；事儿发生了，你吸取教训，然后继续前进。尤其注意，避免陷入与他人的叙旧之中；任何时候当你的同事，朋友，队友或是任何津津乐道于“美好的往日”好似今日难以企及的人，敲醒他们。换一个话题，把他们拉回此时此地的现实之中。
永远不要讨论往日的激情，旧爱，昔日的老本，曾经的凯旋，从前的任何人。如果有分手或失恋带来的苦楚，找人推心置腹地诉说，比如心理医生或最信任的挚友，以帮助你继续向前，当然不不会走漏风声。你的历史不是今天酒吧里庸俗的谈资。
10 友善可靠。深沉的人看上去捉摸不透，但他们并非情绪低落或大脑退化。实际上，你强大的气场总让人感觉值得依赖，因为人们知道你从不扯淡，不负信任，或见死不救。人们信任你并愿意对你抱有信心和关注。这种情况下：
要友善。怜悯之心既能帮助他人，又能保持你深沉的气质；安慰他人时，别过多地关注自我，让他们对你向全人类博大的关爱肃然起敬。
保卫那些需要帮助的人。你可以看上去铁石心肠，即使不近人情，但是你知道正义至上。当他人遭受欺凌，伤害或虐待时，为他们挺身而出。能够挺身而出，坚持原则象征着力量，以及不畏惧身边一切威胁的决定，给你带来英雄般坚毅如钢，前辈低调的质量。
11 不偏不倚，并在规矩的坑爹之处将其击破之。傻逼的规则在不能为其意志服务时就是用来打破的；生活无处不有自我施加的规矩，工作场合的规矩，学校的规矩以及其他各种规矩。虽然很多规则是颇近人情并对我们和谐生活至关重要，其他的很多规则已经过了他们的保质期，或是以牺牲其他人的代价来提高一部份人的生活质量。打破陈规的人是独立的思考者，因为目睹体制之外，不畏进行应有之改变，所以他们采取行动，领导大众，并创造更美好的未来。
搞清楚傻逼的制度和健全的制度之间的区别。一个傻逼的制度可能是一个阻碍某些人发挥最大潜能，却让享有特权之人得其所欲的制度，或者，它可能是维/稳统一压倒革新创造的制度，或者一个在将对人们造成伤害时仍教唆他们增加工作的强度和速度的制度。
健全的制度可以是一个保证人们不会伤害自己或他人的制度，或者可以是一个确保每个人的意见都会得到考虑的制度。辨别一个制度煞笔还是健全，依赖于特定的环境，以及你对其在特定环境中运作的理解。同样要完全搞清楚不循规蹈矩的后果；通常会带来社会的排斥，被炒鱿鱼，失去你所想要的。确保你能承受这样的后果，或做个隐身人，这样没人会知道你牵连其中，而变革则在不知不觉中发生。
别把打破陈规和违法犯罪搅混了。规则指的是所有具体的指导，例行公事，以及供奉在单位，俱乐部或机构里的条条框框，等等；而虽然大部份这些规则都是爲了确保特定事件，机构或企业的良好运行，它们并不一定都是明智的，清晰的，甚至是不合适的。法律，另一方面来说，得到社会的认可，由暴力机关强制执行。法律是所有人共同承认的行为方式，以使得整个社会良好运转。如果你不喜欢这个法律，有很多合法，非暴力的途径来促使它的改变，你甚至可以选择其作为你的事业。但是不要违法犯罪，即使你是独身一人，铁窗岁月或被社会剔除的这段时间都一去不复返了，更不必说你的深沉气质流作画饼。
确认你的"正义感"没有遭到扭曲。那些自觉遭到迫害，怒火中烧或心理焦虑的人对正义的认识往往有失公允。真正的正义立足于客观，理智以及深远的思考。在数年的求证后，你可能会发现自己只是在杞人忧天，但这比仅仅出于个人好恶而兴风作浪要好。
12 尝试非同寻常的兴趣爱好。追寻一些非同寻常，并会唤起他人好奇的兴趣爱好，以此释放出你内在的独特魅力。收藏一些古怪的玩意儿，长途旅行去一些人迹罕至的地方，给街道上的栅栏拍照，在黑暗之中小时数个小时，“干一些神秘的事儿”，参加有关外星人的讨论会，等等。无论你选择做什麽，别循规蹈矩；即使你追求极其大众化的兴趣爱好，从中发掘出被他人忽视或尚未发现的内涵，并尽最大努力成为这一领域的一流专家。
13 做好准备。时刻准备好应付身边的一切。动身前某地前先预想一下，想想可能遇到的问题，确保知道该怎么应对。对于黑夜，要有内置手电的手机。对于飞溅的泥污，准备好给倒霉蛋的手帕。对于割伤，要有创可贴以及一小管杀菌药膏。对于口渴，贡献出你多余的水。随时做好准备，这样他人会佩服你对任何情况都得心应手。
有深沉气质的人不会吃力地拖着塞满装备的大包裹。童谣要知道如何最大程度利用身边的东西保卫自己的安全，应对突发情况以及生存下去。参加紧急救助课程；学习如何利用自然资源解决吃喝住的问题；知道如何利用日常用品清除污渍，维修以及书里头发。知道如何最大程度利用所有东西是世外高人的典型特征，因为这汇集了自信，博学，能力，临危不乱，处变不惊，并敢于尝试新鲜事物。
14 保持放松。首要的是，室外该人们从不在乎别人是怎么看待他们的。他们既不绞尽脑汁培育魅力——魅力来自于淡定，深思，体贴以及时刻准备挑战现状。魅力并不是一件可以拾取穿戴的衣物（虽然一个有涵养的人应当时刻注意如何通过精心的打扮和整洁的服饰来展现自己）。通过保持放松，从容不迫，淡定地应对所处的环境，你身上总是会同时流露出深沉的气质和过人的魅力。
提示
你希望具有深沉的气质，部份原因是你想勾搭妹子，深沉的气质对你来说还不够。锤炼你的魅力，对他人的体贴，并且保持良好的外在形象。
一个深沉气质的典型代表局势来自于“反叛的德鲁修”中的鲁路修·兰佩路基。从他身上看看什麽是真正的深沉。
警告
做自己不做别人。永远不要忘了真实的自我。
不要违法乱纪。你知道这么做的后果。永远不推荐这么做。
永远采取沟通与非暴力的行动。
暴力是失控的表现，有涵养的人从不这么做。
别把自欺欺人误以为别人眼中的深沉气质。自知之明对健康生活至关重要，而且你应当为此终生追寻。别忽视了自我关怀的部份——广泛阅读，在日记里记录思想，积极迎接新的体验，挑战自己的恐惧和误解，并时刻准备学习。